And the Winner Is...

...more doctor's appointments than I've ever had in a month in my freaking LIFE!

The biopsy's clear, but due to the size I'm still having the thyroid out. It'll be a quick procedure but a little tough. It'll be later this month, after yet another physical, a quick jaunt thru the endocrinologist so I find out about after care, follow-up care, hormonal care, pill care, picture/image/ultrasound care, this care, that care and any other care some doc or other can cook up. I'm told it won't be very painful but I can't remember the last person who's never had the same procedure I've had EVER being right about that (I believe it was childbirth, told to me by my male resident who would be handling the delivery. He lied.). Besides, I have my own medications, so if theirs aren't working, I'm sure mine will.

I should add that the endocrinologist's office doesn't get why this all has to be done pre-surgery; normally it's a post surgery appointment? So currently I've left the home clinic puzzling with the mother clinic in the next big town over concerning why there's such an all-fired hurry to tell me what I already know--we'll have to watch the remaining thyroid to be sure it doesn't begin to grow like the rest did that started this clusterfuck; I'll need to take thyroid replacement hormone pills, amounts of which will take some balancing out, and my endocrinologist is going to do what everyone else has done so far--confuse me with my mother, who had a thyroid procedure about 3 years ago that turned her into a radioactive old lady for 2 days (fun days, oh, hells yeah lmao).

That was the time I was disturbed that a man who got lost on his way to work was passing out radioactivity, but that's another story we'll save til I'm healed up and past the need to stay away from disturbing stories about thyroid fuckups, k? Thanks--knew you'd understand.

For some fucked-over reason my pre-op physical needs to include a Pap smear (don't ask me why my most-handsome doctor wants a look up MY particular Tunnel of Luuuuv, but "They're" insisting on one). Once again I explained that if someone's about to dig around in my neck, what the fuck is the point in digging around in my snootch too? I guess I'm "due for one" and since it's a "physical", putting the Pap in the physical (like the lime in the coconut? Never mind, that's not a coconut, and I didn't say that) sort of made sense to someone along the line. So anyway it gets to be fun all around (the world).

So far no one's mentioned an EKG, which is odd, but they want a chest x-ray--no, not the thyroid, the chest. Again, something to peek at (this time, a reverse-image picture of my tits) that just doesn't make sense. No one's mentioned bloodwork either or a UA, both of which make me very nicely happy.

There's been none of this "Twilight Sleep" shit mentioned, which is good, because I don't sleep--I stay awake and bullshit with whoever's doing the procedure until they get tired of it and give me enough drugs to really make me sleep. I'll be under a general anasthetic, which is good because one minute I'm bullshitting with whoever the anesthesiologist is and the next I have a nurse patting my cheek trying to wake me up. Shit, bitch, first you put me to sleep, now you want me awake, make up your fucking minds here, all right?

I don't wake up pleasant and happy. I wake up looking for coffee, sugar, creamer and my meds, in that order, and that never happens in post-op. Hence the cranky wake-up.

So, bitch, did you bring the coffee? I didn't think so. No food either, and I won't be allowed to eat from midnight the night before either, so you lose points there too, and I get to think of more names to call you. I'll add them here when I think of really good ones.

So--this is what I know so far: The thyroid is coming out (like we've ever been in the fucking dark on THAT), some things will be slightly different than a standard sub-total thyroidectomy (yes, this pile of bullshit has a long name, just like everything else in human medicine) due to the size of my thyroid. The name "goiter" is simply a term for an enlarged thyroid--it's not a name for a disease associated with the enlargement. BTW "we" still don't know the source of the enlargement. Thrilling.

We also know: The surgery date but not the time (who doesn't tell you WHEN the surgery is? I need to call the clinic. Again. The surgeon and endocrinologist are confused as to when their roles occur in the treatment process and apparently will remain confused for at least one more day since it's after 5 pm here. I'll be having the weirdest pre-op physical I've ever heard of, including art shots of my tits and samples from the WAY wrong end of the surgery location; and special folks will be making very sure I don't sit up and start bullshitting with them (and I believe that will be a good thing).

A few more things that have suddenly come together are: I will have a new regular doctor to visit, another one who will be doing art shots, but this time in an area that makes sense in all this--and to make sure nothing further will need doing in that area; I'll also have a new pill to take, one that will be no fun whatsoever but could lead to some very fucked-over hormonal situations if I do not take it so I believe I'll be taking that puppy to make sure certain sets of hormones stay in balance rather than playing fuck-me-over. Oh--and if the biopsy had been positive for cancer? It's a "good" cancer to have. But I'm still pissed off about being told this by someone who's not a medical anything so it's another story I'll save for the sake of reducing my blood pressure.

If a computer's available I'll do some blogging from there, but I doubt it, so I'll be summing things up from home once I'm out of the OR and back here.

I'd like to thank everyone for their support and I'm trying to make the boring parts at least a little entertaining in return for your kindnesses during this really rough time. Thank you. Words just can't express the gratitude I feel for you all.

The most messed up thing

...that I can think of is this:



Yes, we have a frost advisory tonight and probably for the next couple after that.

Makes a girl feel like she's been raised by wolves.

Update: I had the biopsy--if you're interested, feel free to email me about it because I'd hate to be boring.

Meanwhile, I'll be trying to dream of warm beaches and warmer weather, no pains in my neck and pretty puppies like Poms.

I said I'd never have one, but...

Some of my activities make it not just helpful but necessary to sign up for Crackbook, and so I have done so. Now that we can add our blogs to it, I've put the widget up, so if those of you who are also Crackbookheads will do me the favor of verifying that this is indeed mah bl0g, I'd very much appreciate it.

Tomorrow's the biopsy--I should have results in a couple of days and will post when I do. Meanwhile, pray/send energy/cast your wishes/however you help people that they don't let me see the needle before it gets near me--I would make a really shitty junkie because I hates them, I does.

Thanks--for everything before this and after.

More holes in body parts

I'm scheduled for a needle biopsy for my thyroid for Tuesday. It's definitely coming out; the surgeon just wants to rule out cancer before deciding which procedure to use and how much to take out. Meanwhile I could bitch about the symptoms dragging my ass to the ground but it wouldn't do much good. Mostly I'll be fighting what I can as well as I can until then. Once we have the biopsy results we'll set the date for the surgery.

Much as I hate the idea of the surgery, I hate the idea of the biopsy worse. The surgeon thinks an extra Klonopin will be enough to deal with the panic over having yet another needle in a place it doesn't belong. I disagree, but since I have an appointment with my own doc earlier the same day I can go disagree to him and see what happens there.

I'll give more info as I get it.

Sorry, but it had to be done

Due to abuse by someone I suspect is in a position to know far better than to be such a sneaky, cowardly, jerk, I've had to remove "anonymous" as a commenting option. Sorry folks, I hate the captchas too so much that I'm using moderation instead but I do not need to listen to shit from someone who doesn't know me, know how full of shit they are nor know jack shit about the world around them. This person needs to go target someone else; I'm just going to make that easy for them.

As for Anime Detour, I'll definitely be back. One little chicken isn't keeping me away. So sorry to disappoint my detrator.

______________________________
Post edited due to new info--remember, my new stalker, those who talk to you will talk about you.

Name this cat

Dirty Harry works for me:



moar funny pictures

If you like this one, go vote--it's a pic I found with a bad caption and recaptioned myself. Spread the word, spread the love, and let's at least get it up on the front page!

Incense Buy

I did make a wholesale buy, mostly to cover myself and family, but I can make a few available to friends and fellow bloggers. Here's a list of what I can find in my heart to allow a few to go--next time you're interested in some incense but not a full case (cases are boxes of individual packages and are seldom large--6-25 boxes, 25 being of the smallest boxes available, the 8 gr boxes, so don't panic at the thought of a larger box or case). Here's the list:

Sticks:

Precious Musk
HEM's Moon Blend
HEM's Sun Blend (ONE available as it's a favorite)
Cinnamon
Amber-Sandal (Another favorite in smaller boxes)

Cones:

Sandalwood
Amber
Egyptian Musk (quantities limited)

Anyone interested feel free to email.

And if your favorite isn't on here next time? TELL me what it is and I can FIX that, or run one just for me, you and some friends.

I expect the soap list out by Wednesday--still dealing with arthritis and its asshole posse. But I has a new doctor this week so hopefully we'll get somewhere other than, "oh, you're expecting it to be worse this weekend? You'll just have to deal with that." Because that's what happens when I ask my old doctor for extra help on a weekend expected to be extra-bad, which is why I'm wishing a shotgun worked on this shit.

See you then.